Posts Tagged ‘ depression ’

From a tortured soul. . . .

Neighbor's Iris

I try to capture the good things around me to help overcome the bad things in my head.

Well, I said I’d talk about mental illness in this blog, but I haven’t been as forthcoming as I could be. Putting my feelings in words would probably help me feel better, but I never feel like doing it when I need it the most. I’ve been really needing it lately.

I can say with total belief in the fact–I’m VERY intelligent. It’s not just that I think I am, I really am. I know so many things and how to do so many things, I forget that most other people don’t. And because I have almost NO self-esteem, I hardly ever stand up for myself when challenged by someone who knows so little compared to me. Growing up, I got good grades–great grades as a matter of fact; but at home I was constantly told I was wrong. Continue reading

How Being Negative Can Get You To The Gym

Positive Thinking...
Image via Wikipedia

via How Being Negative Can Get You To The Gym.

I read this article, not because I need motivation to get to the gym–though it would be a good idea for me (LOL)–but because I seem to think negatively most of the time. Of course I think with the wrong sort of negativity.  I think about how bad I am, not how bad “things” are.  But I thought it might appeal to me more than trying to think positive. And I was right. but I don’t know how effective it will be for me either even though it will be easier than that positive thinking psychobabble!

The idea is to think about how bad you may feel if you don’t do something rather than thinking about how good the thing will be for you. And that idea does come naturally to me. I regret almost everything I haven’t done, but there are so many things I can’t see any way that avoiding a couple would make any difference for me!

I’ve been a bit down this week–dwelling on my shortcomings is a major distraction from living when I’m in the negative pole of my bi-polarity. Unfortunately, when I’m not in the negative pole, I just think about them faster! and try harder to make them stop with frantic activity. I’ve heard that some people who experience mania actually enjoy it–like being high on drugs. I only wish that were my experience. I did find out that I’m not as strange as I thought. Others have the same diagnosis as me. I don’t remember off-hand which applies to me, but bi-polar is defined as Type I and Type II. Continue reading

Hello world!

Hello world!

definition: (1) The first program created by a programmer learning a new computer language. (2) The first output of a new computer program used during testing to verify it works. (3) Generic term uses for the first default post on a newly created blog.

Computer Monster Since I’m a bit of a geek and know several computer programming languages and have tested many, many, many programs, I have used this term many times; and I felt a little pang of nostalgia when I say it listed as the title of my first blog post. I’ve seen several blogs that left the first post intact–including the text provided by that tells you to go ahead and delete it. I’ve also see many that did just that, delete it.

But I can’t remember anyone who kept the title and changed the text. If you decide to follow my musings, you will probably find that I tend to do things that aren’t typical of what is found elsewhere. So it makes sense that I adopt this strategy to start a new venture like this one.

Continue reading

%d bloggers like this: